To The Love of My Life,
Twenty-one years ago today, on May 4, 2000, I walked into the Hotel Captain Cook in Anchorage, Alaska, and met the Love of my Life. Upon entering the hotel, a few kind, bold women asked me if I was there for a Christian conference. I blew them off. On my way out, they asked again. Pests? No. Thank God for people who don’t give up! I heard the beautiful gospel music and said, “Maybe I’ll check it out for a minute.” Two hours later, I was praying with 2 precious saints – who have since gone Home to Heaven. That night, I surrendered my life to You, Jesus. You filled me with Your Holy Spirit and my life was instantly resurrected from spiritual death and condemnation to eternal life and peace in Your presence. No greater decision has ever been made by anyone, anywhere. There is no greater decision than to surrender one’s life to Jesus Christ! Your grace neither covered over my sin, nor excused my sin (Jude 1:4). Your precious blood washed over my sins. Your grace and truth empowered me to repent of my sins. Your grace was sufficient in strengthening me to turn from sin and darkness. “To open their eyes, in order to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who are sanctified by faith in Me.” Acts 26:18
Words cannot adequately express my love and gratitude for You, Lord. There are no words in any language that can convey my love and thanksgiving deep enough, strong enough, or often enough. So I lay down my life. For You. You and You alone take it up again. Thank You for laying down Your life as my Forerunner and Only Perfect Example, Jesus. “Therefore My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it again. No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This command I have received from My Father.” John 10:17-18
Shortly after being born-again (made new), I left a five-year relationship with a man I thought I loved, but was living in sin with. You’ve taught me what true Love is. I didn’t even know what love was, until I met Love Himself, Jesus Christ. Sin ALWAYS hurts people. There is no true love in any sin. Even when we think we are not hurting anyone else, there is no love in sin – in whatever form that sin exists (fornication, adultery, pride, unforgiveness, resentment, bitterness, gossip, homosexuality, pornography, gluttony, drunkenness, etc.). There is no true love, God’s pure and holy love, in any sin. Sin is the greatest form of hatred because it deeply separates us from others and from Love Himself. Sin separates us on a spiritual level, not a superficial, sensual level. That’s why it can still “look” and “feel” like “love”, but be far from the pure, holy, everlasting love of the Father.
“Your iniquities have separated you from your God; And your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear.” Isaiah 59:2
“If I had cherished the sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.” Psalm 66:18
“God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him…By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and keep His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments.” 1 John 4:16; 5:2-3
Lord, humble me and strengthen me to obey You at all times and at all costs. I’ve seen you supernaturally provide for me – work, business, beautiful places to live (some rent free), not-so-beautiful places to live :), 3 different vehicles that You gave me, a bike to ride and legs to walk with when I didn’t have a vehicle. You are my Eternal Husband, Maker, Savior, Provider, Protector, Comforter, and Best Friend. No one even comes close to You! You truly are all I need. Material blessings have brought comfort and convenience, but I can and have lived without all of this, and I am still content in You. I cannot live without You. You are my “joy unspeakable and full of glory”! You are my peace that surpasses all understanding! You alone complete me and fulfill me. “So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.” Colossians 2:10
I’ve failed so many times and yet You still reach out to me. You still catch me when I fall. You’ve never given up on me. You’re always there for me. You never leave me nor forsake me, so I may boldly say: “The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:6) You are my light and my salvation. “Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked came against me, to eat up my flesh, my enemies and foes, they stumbled and fell. Though an army may encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; Though war may rise against me, in this I will be confident. One thing I have desired of the LORD, that will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to inquire in His temple. For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; In the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock.” Psalm 27:1-5
Thank You for hiding me, literally hiding me, at times. You’ve protected me even in my ignorance, even in places that perhaps I shouldn’t have gone, but went believing I was obeying You. You are my Shield and Strong Tower. You are my Refuge and Fortress. In You alone do I trust. When others have rejected me, You have accepted me in the Beloved, my Savior Jesus Christ. You are all I have and You are all I need. What kind of love is this which You have poured out into my heart? A love I don’t deserve. How often I’m reminded of the words to the song, “When It’s All Been Said and Done”: Lord, Your mercy is so great / That You look beyond our weakness / And find purest gold in miry clay / Making sinners into saints / I will always sing Your praise! / Here on earth and ever after / For You’ve shown me Heaven’s my true Home / When it’s all been said and done / You’re my life when life is gone. [Robin Mark] https://youtu.be/1llIIhBMCjU
“Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Romans 5:5
I rejoice because I have been counted worthy to suffer shame for Your name! I have and will gladly continue to experience persecution, rejection, slander, mocking, gossip, false accusations, and, if it be Your will, death for Your name, rather than indulge in the sinful pleasures of this world or receive the praises of people. I will not go-along just to get-along. I will not mindlessly float downstream with the deceived masses. I will not waste time propping up superficial relationships with those who don’t want to hear the truth. I’m too old and time is too short. Help me to not cast my pearls before swine, nor give what is holy to the dogs, lest they trample them under their feet and turn and tear me in pieces (Matthew 7:6). Help me to stay focused on the fields that are white, ready to harvest. “Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision! For the day of the LORD is near in the valley of decision.” (Joel 4:14) I will not tickle people’s ears and tell them what they want to hear. Churches are filled with false teachers, false preachers, and false prophets who do that. Lord Jesus, the price You paid was far too great for us to dance around, entertaining and flattering one another. By Your Spirit, I will continue to speak the truth in the face of increasing evil, opposition, perversion, and deception – even within the “church,” or rather, the apostasy.
“Now am I trying to win the favor of men, or of God? Do I seek to please men? If I were still seeking popularity with men, I should not be a bondservant of Christ (the Messiah).” Galatians 1:10 AMPC
“We ought to obey God rather than men…And we are His witnesses to these things, and so also is the Holy Spirit whom God has given to those who obey Him.” Acts 5:29-32
“Now, Lord, look on their threats, and grant to Your servants that with all boldness they may speak Your word, by stretching out Your hand to heal, and that signs and wonders may be done through the name of Your holy Servant Jesus.” Acts 4:29-30
Thank You, Holy Spirit, for Your comfort, counsel, and strength. Truly, “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning’! (Psalm 30:5) No counselor can bring healing or deliverance the way You can, Holy Spirit. Your counsel is not superficial, self-help. You alone heal to the very depths of our soul. Jesus, how can I possibly thank You enough? You took the wrath of God that I deserved. What kind of love is that? That a King would die for His servant? The Creator dies for His creation? Help me live in a way that demonstrates my love and gratitude to You. “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
Help me to live a life that will draw all men unto You. May they overlook me and see You. You and You alone deserve all glory, honor, and praise! Heavenly Father, thank You for Your overwhelming, everlasting, fulfilling love. I look forward to the day when I can lay aside this tent and spend all eternity in your holy, pure presence. Help me to be someone You’re looking for. Someone You are seeking. Help me to worship You in spirit and truth. What can I do that would most please You, Heavenly Father?
“But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” John 4:23-24
“But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6
“When the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?” Luke 18:8
Help me to live a life of great faith in YOU and all that YOU can and will do through Your willing, believing vessels! For You alone are Almighty, Omniscient, Omnipotent, and Omnipresent! Glorify Your name through Your Body! I ask of You, LORD, for the nations and the heathen for Your inheritance, and the ends of the earth for Your possession (Psalm 2). Use me to bring in the harvest, Lord. I expect and love to see Your appearing (2 Timothy 4:8).
Forever You are my King, my Righteous Judge, the Love of my Life.
Your daughter,
Denys
Fishers of Men Ministries 